Secrets In Her Past
by CharmingBecca
Summary: A follow-up to 'Falling For Him... Again' where we learn just what Phoebe's secret is, and how it might change her life forever....


Secrets In Her Past  
  
She clutched at her forehead, trying to stop the sudden pain. She rocked herself back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, as if she could dodge the sharp, shooting ache that ran through her brain. Her world started spinning and spirraling; the colors smashing together, creating havic. She knew that she would soon pass out if she didn't take her medicine, even if the pain did seemingly go away. She made her way to the medicine cabinet, trying not to wake her fiance. She succeeded, and continued with her jouney for her pills....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Sooo....", Cole started. "Sleep ok last night?"  
  
The couple sat at the breakfast table even though it was let into the morning. They had stayed silent for the past hour or so, and Cole had had enough.  
  
"Fine. You?"  
  
"Well, you see. I was awaken by someone leaving the bed very, very early this morning." He stayed quiet, waiting for her emotions to show on her face. "You want to tell me about it?"  
  
"Not really...", Phoebe admitted.  
  
"Phoebe." Cole stretched her name out as if her could scare her into telling him.  
  
"No, Cole."  
  
"Hunny, look. I think that you should tell me about it. Last time you passed out, remember? AND lost your memory. That can't be good. Now I think that I deserve to know!"  
  
Phoebe stood up suddenly, causing the chair to fall. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "I said no, Cole!" Then she left the room as Piper enetered, leaving both Cole and Piper horrified.  
  
"What the hell was that about?", Piper asked Cole.  
  
"I don't know." Je said the three words so fast that it sounded as if it were one word. "I was just asking why she got out of bed in the middle of the night."  
  
"And that would be important why?", Piper asked.  
  
"She didn't come back for an hour."  
  
"Ohhh.", Piper responded, finally understanding the problem. "Well, maybe she had the sudden urge to call Grams or Mom or someone from New York. When I first got engaged, that was all I could do."  
  
"She wouldn't have responded that way.", Cole concluded.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
More pills. It wasn't even eleven yet, and she was taking more of the pills that were suppose to be helping her. Her headaches increases in pain, and her world never slowed down. It was like some twisted rollar coaster ride that she couldn't get off of. And of course, she hadn't told anyone...  
  
Sure, she could of told Piper. Piper had been there the first time this had happened.  
  
And she was sure that Leo could help her through this time- guide her.  
  
Paige was her sister. She would listen.  
  
But Cole. Cole loved her. They were engaged. He would be able to help her.  
  
So why was her mouth staying shut about this? Why couldn't she just admit that she was sick, and that she needed help? Why couldn't she tell the people that were close to her, the people that cared and loved for her?  
  
Because she was stubbern. Phoebe never accepted help because she never thought that she needed it. She would never admit to anyone that there was a problem. She would never admit to anyone that she was physically unfit to keep being a witch. And that made them weak. What if the Source found out that she couldn't fight anymore? Then they would be screwed...  
  
This was it. This was the last time that she was going to think about this. She was going to tell Cole. Right then. She got up off the cool, tiled bathroom floor, and tried to stand. But the second she stood up, she fell back down: passing out from not taking her medicine soon enough. Cole heard the sudden thud and was in there in a flash, shaking her to revive her.  
  
"Hunny, wake up. Wake up now. Damnt, Phoebe! Wake up!", he shouted. This was the second time this had happened. He needed to know why this was happening. He wanted Phoebe to tell him that she was perfectly fine- just training too hard lately. He wanted her to- "Wake up now! God, Phoebe. WAKE UP!"  
  
"Cole? Everything- Oh my god!", the sweet voice of Piper trailed off entering the bathroom. "Leo! LEO!!! Get your ass down here!"  
  
The swirl of neon blue lights filled the room as Leo's body materialized. It only took a few seconds for him to understand why they were calling, and tended to Phoebe almost immediatly. It was just a few seconds of his glowing hands above her chest until she started to wake up- again.  
  
"Pheebs? Oh god, Pheebs!" Piper hugged her sister close as Cole tried to hug her, too. Leo somehow managed to get into the three and hugged her, also. "Thank god you are ok. What happened to you?"  
  
Phoebe was dazed. She wasn't sure what she had been doing just before she passed out. But at least she knew who she was. At least she knew as much as where she was and what her life was like. She wasn't sure what she was doing in the bathroom, but she had a pretty good idea. "Ugh, fine. i was just gonna take a bath and I must have slipped."  
  
Cole looked around. He saw no clothes waiting for her for when she got out. He didn't see a warm towel waiting to aid her when she got out of the bathtub. He saw no soap, and none of the oils that she liked to use could be sighted: she said they calmed her down. He instantly knew that she was lying, but he really wasn't sure why she was lying.  
  
Piper and Leo noticed the sudden tenseness in the room. They asked Phoebe's once more if she was alright, and then left the room sensing that Cole needed to talk to Phoebe alone. Piper closed the door on her way out even though it was the bathroom.  
  
Silence. After the wedded couple left, silence filled the air. Cole waited for Phoebe to speak, and Phoebe waited for yet another lecture. When Phoebe didn't start explaining fast enough for Cole, he started questioning.  
  
"What is wrong with you Phoebe?"  
  
"Nothing. I was gonna take a bath. Ok?"  
  
"No, you weren't. Look around, if you're gonna lie at least do it right. There is nothing in this room that even makes it look like you were going to take a bath. And I know you better then anyone in this world. I can tell when you are lying. I can tell when you need help. But what I don't get is why you can't tell me what is wrong."  
  
"Because there is nothing wrong!", Phoebe insisted. "I have it under control. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a doctor's appointment."  
  
"Why?", Cole asked, suddenly worried.  
  
"Because I have to have a check-up. Is that ok with you?"  
  
"I want to know what's wrong. Why are you blocking me from you? Why are you ignoring me?"  
  
Phoebe looked up into Cole's eyes, seeing just what he really was feeling. She could see just how much she was hurting him by not telling the truth, she was killing him by not being honest with either of them. She knew that he wasn't fooled. He was right; he did know her better then anyone else. He DID deserve to know what was wrong. He deserved a lot of things....  
  
"I promise that if it gets any worse, and if gets so bad that I can't handle it, I will tell you. But it's not that big of a deal at the moment. In fact, my health is perfectly fine. I am not mad at you or anyone else, and I promise that I am not about to jump of a bridge to kill myself. I love you, Cole. And I love everything about my life. I wouldn't change a thing." She kissed him gently on the lips, and then left the room...  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It seemed that P3 was the place to be that night. Phoebe couldn't blame anyone, either. After all, it wasn't everyday that Creed came to play at a club. How Piper got them to play there, she'll never know. It seemed to be a mirical to her and Paige, and even Cole seemed to be impressed. Although, Leo could use some brushing up on his music trivia....  
  
"Hey, there!", someone from behind Phoebe suddenly shouted over the music. "What are you doing over here all by yourself? Your boyfriend at home tonight?"  
  
Phoebe looked at the inquisiter, annoyed. But when she suddenly saw who it was, she cheered up. "Oh.... My... God. Are you really there? Or are my eyes just decieving me?"  
  
"Nope... I'm in town on a mission. You know, love mission. I'm suppose to tell a certain engaged woman that if she doesn't start sharing certain information with her fiance, then her relationship might end badly....", he hinted. "Have any idea where I could find someone like that?"  
  
Phoebe quickly shrank in her seat. She knew that he was talking about her, Cole, and the certain.... disease that she had. "No. I told him that I would tell him if anything bad happened. I have it under control. I don't tell him everything."  
  
"Clearly. But you need to seriously consider what you are saying. Is he really ok with you lying to him and hiding something? What if he thinks that you have started acting the way you did in New York again? What if he thinks that you are having a dangerous affair? Or what if he thinks that you are possessed every now and then?"  
  
"Well, if he thinks that I am having an affair then I guess you sitting there isn't going to help."  
  
"Phoebe. Don't push me away. Don't push love away."  
  
"I'm not. I'm embracing it like you told me to. Cole and I are very happy and I am perfectly fine!"  
  
"No, you're not. And neither is he. I can feel it. He is afraid Phoebe. Afraid that he is going to loose you. You need to reassure him, let him know what is going on. Tell him what is wrong with you. Tell him how you feel about the weather for all I care. Just go and tell him something about that you don't know!"  
  
Phoebe looked at him, staring into his eyes for the answers to all her problems. She suddenly felt strong arms around her, and she knew that Cole had found her. She smiled at just being there with him, just being in his arms. Even though he kissed her cheek and smiled, she could tell that he wasn't happy about the guy talking to Phoebe.  
  
"Hi." She quickly kissed him. "Cole, this is Cupid. Cupid, I believe you know Cole."  
  
"Yeah. I do.", Cupid quickly answered. "I was just here to visit Phoebe. She and I became friends the last time that I was here."  
  
"Hm. How nice. Phoebe, I'm gonna go home. You wanna join me? Or do you want to stay and catch up with your friend?"  
  
Phoebe suddenly shut her eyes, the pain that suddenly appeared in her head too much for her to take. Her world spinned faster then any time before- her cheeks actually reddening from it. She felt so dizzy that she thought that she was going to stop. She grabbed at her forehead, trying to make it stop; trying to make herself feel better. And suddenly, it did. It all ended when Phoebe blacked-out in Cole's arms....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A chilled damp cloth found it's way onto Phoebe's forehead. Cole layed her down on the couch, praying that she would wake up at any minute: unharmed. Cupid sat in a chair across the room, whil Cole kneeled before Phoebe. Piper and Paige and Leo had all come home, and they all agreed that letting her do this on her own was for the better. This was just too many times for her not to tell anyone anything.  
  
Here eyes fluttered open, and Cole's first thought was that she was ok. But then he started thinking as to how she grabbed her forehead just before she blacked out- something she did before she fainted in the basement that one time during training. He suddenl realized that she could tell when it was going to happen. Something triggered it to go off.  
  
"Oh, thank god. Phoebe.... That is two times today! Now, what is wrong with you?", Piper started as she hugged her sister close.  
  
"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine. I probably had too much to drink or something."  
  
"You don't drink.", Cole debated.  
  
"So what? I am going to bed. Bye, Cupid. Stop by soon. And don't worry. Cole and I are very happy together." She sat up, causing the washcloth to fall down onto her lap, which in turn fell to the floor when she stood up. She stormed off, into her room. Cole followed behind.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?", Cole asked, slamming the door behind him. "What is making you sick? What do you have?"  
  
"I have nothing, Cole. Ok? I am perfectly fine. Even ask the doctor's- there is nothing wrong with me." Just my head, she thought.  
  
"Well then you please tell me why you were a total bitch to your friend?", Cole argued out of anger.  
  
Phoebe stopped arguing. "Ouch.", she whined. It was true. He had hurt her feelings. And she was about to cry because of it.  
  
"Phoebe, I am so sorry. I wasn't thinking. It just sort of came out. I wasn't planning on saying that. Believe me, I don't think that you are bitch! I mean, I love you!"  
  
"Yeah. But you still said it. Why would you say it if you didn't mean it? But you were right. I was being a bitch. I was acting like a kid." She stopped for a quick second. "If you want to know what is wrong with me, I would be glad to tell you now."  
  
Cole waited anxiously for what she was about to say. He had been waiting for it ever since she lost her memory. But suddenly, he was scared. What if she was going to tell him that she was dying? What if she was going to tell him that she had started doing something illegal? What if she was going to say that something horrible had happened to her and now she was feeling the full effect of it? He sat in silence...  
  
"When I was a teenager and I was going through the whole change thing, I got these terrible headaches. They were migraines. Well, they would only last like an hour or so, with dizzy spells on the side, and then if I hadn't taken my medicine, I would faint. Well, I have it again. Only now it's come back ten-fold. And the headaches only last a few minutes before I faint. And it just keeps getting worse.  
  
"The doctors say that I am perfectly fine. Something is triggering these headaches. And I need to figure out what it is in order to reverse this. It's kinda like I need to get rid of all of my stress. I just don't know what it causing it." She quieted down for a few moments, letting it sink in for Cole. "I didn't tell you because it wasn't that bad at first. At first I had it all under control. And then it started spinning out of control... And well....."  
  
He finally spoke. But it wasn't the usually sectance that he would say to tell her that everything was going to be ok. It wasn't something that told her that he was ok or scared. It didn't even tell her that he was alright with her lying, and that he was accepting his apology. "Does Piper know about this?"  
  
"She knew I had it growing up. But she doesn't know that I have it know."  
  
"Well, I think that this would be a good thing to tell her. Right now."  
  
"Do I have to?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But I'm so tired...", she complained.  
  
"Fine then. But first thing in the morning you are telling everyone what you just told me!"  
  
"I promise. Do you still love me completely?"  
  
"Of course...." He kissed her, lightly shoving her onto the bed as he pulled the covers over them....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Pass the milk.", Paige said, followed by a , "Butter, please."  
  
Phoebe watched her family as they barked orders for food. Her eyes darted back and forth, back and forth, back and forth like it was a game of tennis. The second one person got down asking for something, someone else asked something. She noticed that Cole hadn't been joining in. He was staring at her, waiting for her to make the announcment.  
  
"Ugh, guys. I, ugh, I have to tell you something."  
  
As planned, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Phoebe.  
  
"I sorta... Got this thing. Piper, you know that thing with the headaches that I had when I was a teenager? Well, it's back. But worse. It's a couple minutes of the headaches with dizzy spells, and then I pass out. Over the past few weeks, it's only gotten worse. The doctors say that all I need to do is figure out what the trigure is and then I should be able to stop it. They said that they would run some blook tests to see if it could be rooted to any other illness, but other then that I don't know."  
  
Everyone was silent. No one had expected the news of their sister being sick on the menu.  
  
"Are you gonna be ok?", Piper asked, scared to know the answer.  
  
"Of course I am. It'll just take some time. And, ugh, I gotta apologize for how I have been treating you guys. I thought that I could handle it, and I wasn't expecting for it to get worse that way. It was only suppose to get better! Honest!"  
  
"No, we believe you.", Leo said. "Um, just out of curiosity, do you think that these headaches can be tied down to anything.... Specific?'  
  
"Of course.", Phoebe answered. Her hand had found Cole's quite some time ago, but she hadn't realized how hard she was squeezing it. It seemed to be like a security blanket to her: protecting her from all harm's way and all the bad news that could ever hit her.  
  
"Well, maybe it's a side effect of you being pregnet!", he suddenly said.  
  
"Leo, I'm not- What? I'm pregnet?!!?", she screamed. "I hate you being a whitelighter."  
  
Cole's mouth dropped open. Sure, he was happy about starting a family with Phoebe, but they weren't even married yet! They hadn't even set a date yet! This was too soon. This was- "Oh my god. This is great!"  
  
Phoebe suddenyl let go of his hand, scared of his new attitude. "I take it you're happy."  
  
"And you're not?"  
  
"No, of course I am! I'm just... shocked, that's all."  
  
Cole picked up Phoebe and swung her around as she laughed and giggled. "Things can only get better from here.", he said. He kissed her passionatly, happy about everything that was happening. "Only better. I love you, Phoebe Halliwell."  
  
She kissed him back before saying, "And I love you, Cole Turner."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~*The End~*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ 


End file.
